My unofficial job title

My official job title at the medical library at which I'm employed is Cataloging Assistant. Which means I decide which call numbers are put on the labels that are stuck to the spines of our books. Of course that's a simplified job description - there's lots of other stuff involved in the job. But, it's hardly challenging.

To keep from going batshit from the monotony I have appointed myself Morale Officer. But only for a chosen, snarky few that get my "style" of humor. I've branched out to a few employees at our public TV station and the state hospital.

Here are a couple of examples from today's email banter:

From public TV employee that also happens to be part of a large camping group I belong to:

Subject: Throw Away Those Old Tents!https://webmail.uams.edu/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://www.hennessyhammock.com/If we all got one of these our campsite would look like an Invasion of the Bodysnatchers remake. Cool huh?

(These things are like tent hammocks that you hang up off the ground)

My response:

I...don't...know. I think I wouldn't be comfortable with my ass swinging in the wind all night. The term "Bear Pinata" comes to mind.

Example 2:

Posted on campus-wide mail was an announcement that the administration had approved the formation of our own Red Hat Society. I forwarded it to my friends with this comment:

Yessiree, we here at *state medical center* have our finger on the pulse of pop culture. I notice male employees are left out. That’s discrimination, isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be funny if only trannies showed up to the first meeting? I mean really flamboyant ones like The Bird Cage. I’d pay to see that.

That led to some back and forth about possible fundraisers to pay for transvestites to show up at the meeting culminating in this response from a coworker:

"Oh, sh*t – I have got to learn not to read your messages while drinking – I got soda in my nose."

Ahhh, my work here is done.